Monday, December 17, 2007
Animal takes over small gallery
A Mammoth has taken over the running of a small gallery in Auckland. Mobile Gallery Unit staff were last seen laying out hay on the floor of the gallery. A gallery assistant was overheard saying 'I knew something like this was going to happen'.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Sweet Content
ART thou poor, yet hast thou golden slumbers?
O sweet content!
Art thou rich, yet is thy mind perplex'd?
O punishment!
Dost thou laugh to see how fools are vex'd
To add to golden numbers golden numbers?
O sweet content! O sweet, O sweet content!
Work apace, apace, apace, apace;
Honest labour bears a lovely face;
Then hey nonny nonny—hey nonny nonny!
From 'Sweet Content' , by the Elizabethan poet Thomas Dekker.
O sweet content!
Art thou rich, yet is thy mind perplex'd?
O punishment!
Dost thou laugh to see how fools are vex'd
To add to golden numbers golden numbers?
O sweet content! O sweet, O sweet content!
Work apace, apace, apace, apace;
Honest labour bears a lovely face;
Then hey nonny nonny—hey nonny nonny!
From 'Sweet Content' , by the Elizabethan poet Thomas Dekker.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
NASA not impressed
Photo: Naomi Service
Relationships with NASA strained this morning as argument raged over the usability of cardboard, tape and string in space.
MGU is relying on the testimony of a three year old boy from Germany, who made the shuttle the other day in his bedroom.
Initial claims that he had also discovered alien life were dismissed when this turned out to be his little sister.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Down Stream
Monday, November 19, 2007
"Dabbling with Reality"
Friday, November 16, 2007
A Slave Caravan
"Nor was there a sound, nor a voice, or a cry, or the faintest murmur in The Desert, save the heavy dull tramp of our caravan: all else was the silence of death!"
Robinson, James. Travels in the Great Desert of Sahara Page 70. M.D.CCC.XLVIII.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Mobilis Galleria Unitensii
Monday, October 15, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Caravan left behind, maybe next time says NASA.
Months of negotiating ended today as the rocket left Earth without MGU attached by towbar.
"Nevermind", said one gallery assistant to the other.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Ladies Out For Winter
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Small Sculpture Gets Art Historians Going
Art Historians were quickly called to the scene as a small sculpture was found stuck to the outside window of the gallery. The historians muttered for some time before announcing that it was a critique of what Freud called the 'Oral' phase. The implications, they said, would be very hard to swallow.
Gallery Chalks Up Chalk
MGU was re-discovered this morning by a vigilant parking warden wielding chalk. Gallery Assistants are still decoding her message. Some have called the chalky scrawl an art review. Others are determined it is a work of art. The parking warden would not comment on either accusation, and advised the assistants to move MGU within seven days, AND get a current WOF.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Poof!
Monday, April 9, 2007
Naked Lady Eats Apples
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Sea Captain comes to rescue
Friday, March 16, 2007
Hooligans vandalise gallery
Monday, March 12, 2007
Angry onlooker breaks glass
Friday, March 9, 2007
Thank-you Gus Fisher!
It is not easy to find a car park in the city. MGU is grateful to Gus Fisher for letting us park MGU outside his building. We understand the carpark is available to us from March 9 until March 23. During this time the vehicle will be stationary. The door will remain closed. The light will be on. The supporting struts [2] will be lowered to the ground. The wheel locks [2] will be locked. All MGU staff will be relieved from their duties.
Public! Keep an eye on our caravan!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Gallery Assistants drift off
Critics say "The Art Is Too Good!"
Critics of MGU were in uproar at the latest exhibition that they have labelled as "Too Good". They said the art was so good that it had become sickening. The critics said that while they recognised it as being 'very good contemporary art', the fact was that it repelled them, and many critics were seen limping away from the confused gallery assistants.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Gallery involved in drive-by
MGU was invited to Coromandel Town where the assistants drove the gallery up and down the main street for 1 hour on a Sunday afternoon. This type of art action has come to be known as our Sunday-Drive. On this occasion, cafe dwelling holiday-makers and local residents peered up from their plates to watch the performance that we repeated 15 times for their viewing pleasure. The gallery was invited to display itself especially for the leisure class who were seated at cafes all along the road being served one of the meals that they would eat that day. As is the habit of the leisure class, the meals are the main occupation of the day, occuring 3 times, or 5 times for those who indulge in morning and afternoon tea as well. It was designed to be a funny parade, with the gallery pacing up and down the street, slowly, and very very seriously. There is no telling what affect this action may have had, or will have on the population of Coromondel Town, now, or in the future.
Friday, March 2, 2007
MGU holds major retrospective
In another of our summer exhibitions a prominant Auckland artist had an exhibition in MGU that can only be described as a major retrospective.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Sculptures Disturbed After Hours
During a recent exhibition at 'Hot Water Beach' some drunken teenagers arrived outside gallery hours to view the art. They sat for some time in their van getting more drunk and listening to music in preparation for visiting the gallery. One by one they came to visit. The first drunken youth tried to climb on the gallery roof, before abandoning that plan to peer through the windows. At this time the gallery was exhibiting one very angry sculpture and one very sleepy sculpture. The angry sculpture got very angry. The next visitor was a young girl with a flashlight, and she decided to make a lightshow inside the caravan. The next morning the gallery moved on to another location.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Wet togs act as criticism
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Gallery defends itself against 'porn studio' allegation
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Neighbours stick stickers
Monday, February 19, 2007
Artist uses friends
Dear [name withheld],
We were very glad to hear that you had some portraits of your friends "kicking round" and that you wanted to "make a quick buck", and to respond to your query about whether MGU would be the place to "hock them off", the firm answer is no.
Sincerely,
MGU
We were very glad to hear that you had some portraits of your friends "kicking round" and that you wanted to "make a quick buck", and to respond to your query about whether MGU would be the place to "hock them off", the firm answer is no.
Sincerely,
MGU
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Artist's proposal for artwork not good
Dear [name withheld],
Thankyou for your lengthy submission for an exhibition at MGU.
It was not good.
Wish you luck.
MGU
Thankyou for your lengthy submission for an exhibition at MGU.
It was not good.
Wish you luck.
MGU
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Artist has mess in mind
Dear [name withheld],
We are rejecting your application to "just come and make a mess" in the gallery on the grounds that there is already enough shit that has been presented as art.
Warm wishes,
MGU
We are rejecting your application to "just come and make a mess" in the gallery on the grounds that there is already enough shit that has been presented as art.
Warm wishes,
MGU
Friday, February 16, 2007
Artist takes holiday in MGU
Hard core conceptual artist makes head ache
Dear [name withheld],
While we admire your rock hard stance on hard core conceptual art, we read your application and all simultaneously developed a headache.
Best wishes,
MGU
While we admire your rock hard stance on hard core conceptual art, we read your application and all simultaneously developed a headache.
Best wishes,
MGU
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Grandiose stroke theory
Dear [name withheld],
We at MGU are reeling after your application to exhibit with us. While the large expressionistic brushstrokes you mention do sound impressive, we feel only a much larger gallery could really do justice to what you call your 'grandiose stroke theory'.
Kind Regards,
MGU
We at MGU are reeling after your application to exhibit with us. While the large expressionistic brushstrokes you mention do sound impressive, we feel only a much larger gallery could really do justice to what you call your 'grandiose stroke theory'.
Kind Regards,
MGU
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Artist/Astronaut proposes gallery sent into space
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